new.

i realized suddenly today when on my way to go buy groceries for (i kid you not) the first time in at least a month and a half (MAYBE even two months) that my life has been in this strange kind of limbo for, well, at least the last month and a half (yup, maybe even two months or more).

there was burning man. there was cabo. oh, there was cabo. there were a million things in between to pack, plan, unpack, repack, write down, and plan all over again. things to think about. things that got lost in the shuffle. some things, some moments, and definitely some people who were very, very good to me. and there are things that are still piled up around the edges of my apartment with nowhere to go just yet.

and then,

somewhere along the way, i left a.c.t.

i’m still in denial about it all, which is fine. i can handle that. it will probably be quite awhile until i actually delete that email account from my phone (totally normal, right?).

and while all of that was happening. while all of those decisions were unfolding and revealing themselves without me even feeling like i raised a finger, here i am.

and i have a new job. a new job that promises everything i think i might be ready to say yes to, like more challenges. lots of challenges. and more money. and more responsibility. and more of a voice! and more taking risks. and more feeling like i don’t know what the hell i’m doing. it will be good to be in those places again, where i will hope and hope and sweat and hope that i can pull it all off in the end.

and there will be quieter days. we will return to our regularly scheduled programming, in regards to both our television shows and our gym schedules. we will cook. and we will scrub. and we will throw out half of our closets to make room for more permanent things.

and we will be apart for a bit, and that’s just how it will have to be.

and,

just like that, the seasons will change again.